Most of the time, I am lying awake.
Though, I'd give
a n y t h i n g
just to sleep through
e v e r y t h i n g.
These things strap me down like anchors,
Or drag me out to sea.
Sometimes I show the world what leaves me
i n s p i r e d.
Paint on canvas,
Words in a notebook,
Or sometimes, just untouched works in my head.
Wading through the waters,
These burdens get the best of me.
Sometimes I think about the
p a s t ,
Though I'm always looking for the
f u t u r e .
You'll never know what I've been through.
The waters are rising,
I'm getting over my head.
Sometimes I like to grip onto my
m e m o r i e s .
Sometimes they're everything I'd rather
l o s e .
Sometimes I waste my days
t h i n k i n g ,
Even though I know I never deserved the shit she put me through.
Take in a breath,
There's not much time left.
Sometimes I think I'm not
g o o d e n o u g h .
Most of the time, I'm convinced.
Sometimes the words gnaw at my bones,
"You're not good enough,
You n e v e r were
Forever was never real."
Most nights I dream of
d i s t a n c e ,
And how we'll be much acquainted soon.
That plane will take her
a w a y ,
And there's nothing I can do.
Waves pushing and pulling,
Drowning seems so easy.
Sometimes her smile gets the best of me,
Other times I wish I wasn't so
a t t a c h e d .
Sometimes all I want to do is be in
l o v e ,
Because I know that's all I have left.
Weighing me down like an anchor,
This silence has taken what's left of me.
You knew this ship was sinking,
It's been sinking all along.
Sometimes I find myself struggling,
Sometimes all I want to do is sleep.